It’s time. You’ve held on to them in hopes that their partner would come back, but today we accept the inevitable. It’s time to say goodbye to all of the single socks, the ones where their mates have been lost to the unknown.
Where do all the missing socks go? Is there a washing machine heaven? Perhaps within the washer, there is some form of strange Kraken like creature that exists that eats them, and only left one? Is there some kind of vortex created within the whirl of hot air and tumbling wet clothes that exists within the dryer? These are the questions that people have been trying to solve for many centuries. An answer may never be found to this problem, and life will go on. How sad to have lost such a close-knit friend!
Of course, since before the dawn of Tupperware, inventors have attempted the prevention of such separation anxiety. Alas, if they had succeeded mismatched socks wouldn’t be popular today and we wouldn’t have National Sock Memorial Day. The history stretches back through the history of knitted footwear through every culture and nation until it finally disappears at the most glorious (and yet soon to be vexing) moment when the first pair of socks were created. The first Lost Sock Memorial Day was held two days later when Og failed to find the sock his cave mother-in-law knitted for him, doubtless, it had been eaten by a mammoth. No matter how hard you try to keep pairs of socks together, invariably one of them ventures out into the netherworld never to be found again.
Now is the time to let go and move on. Clean out all of your left behind socks. Make sock puppets or recycle those old socks by reusing them as dust rags! Create a sock bouquet! Place them on the bottom of chairs, and tables to prevent scratching during moving or rearranging. Cut apart and use as tie strips for the garden. Have a moment of silence for all the socks you have lost, then spend the day making sock monkeys. Give them a new life and get creative!